love story parody

(Pre-text note: The title is in lowercase on purpose).

I used to have the perfect life.

My grades were always good, I respected my parents, I had great friends, I was a vegetarian, I did charity work, I helped the orphans.

That was up until the day I met him.

After that my perfect world came crumbling down. I fell deeper and deeper into a dark world of sexting and stare dates.... amongst other things.



This is my story, and what lead me to be the person I once was.

P.S. Please don't judge me, that was my past. I know what I did was wrong, and I regret every single thing I did. I hope all of you can learn from my mistakes.


Xoxo,
Glimpse of Hope (^_^)


Parody:
Pronunciation: \ˈper-ə-dē, ˈpa-rə-\
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural par·o·dies

1 : A literary or musical work in which the style of an author or work is closely imitated for comic effect or in ridicule.
2 : A feeble or ridiculous imitation.

NOTE: This is NOT a real love story! This is a PARODY, a SPOOF! I am MAKING FUN of love stories and how ridiculous they can be. I thought naming it "Love story parody" would make that clear to people, but apparently not. So I posted the definition of parody, and still people didn't get it.

THIS IS A JOKE!

Introduction.

1. Madame Pedovulgahtits.

Meaning of thy name:

Pedo: From pedophile. I like to kidnap little boys and rape them.
Vulgah: From vulgar. Well, I'm vulgar.
Tits: I have large tits. (I lied, I don't)

Hobbies: Bedazzling things.

Age: Age is overrated (Direct quote from the gifted one.. inside joke).

Favourite food: Chicken nuggets.

Favourite word: Class.

Motto: Why wizz? why NOT?

2. Madame Soufflé.

Madame Soufflé, here to remind you of food on a daily basis. I exist primarily to make you want things that aren’t in your realm of reach. Why Soufflé you ask, dear minion? Because I’ve never had it and I never want to taste it. I’m content that way. Leave me souffléless and leave me satisfied (chocolate soufflé doesn’t count)

Age: Young enough to laugh at the word “hard”

Hobbies: Racing. Racing to what, is something you can only dream of knowing.

Food: I’m picky. Just like I am tricky cause it's tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on time, it’s tricky, eh eh!

Interests: Positive, uplifting motivators. They make me LOL.

Words to live by: Don’t tolerate depressed people, they can’t tolerate themselves.

3. Madame Dotdotdot.

Since the dawn of time, people have needed classifications to serve as guidelines and facilitate the way they view their lives. Lines have been drawn, boxes have been created and people have stayed within the confinements of those lines and happily walked around in circles inside those boxes. Yet, there was always a small portion of people who didn't quite fit in any of those categories, a group that transcends all and branches out in a realm of their own, the unknown realm of the Dotdotdot- encapsulating this, that and everything in between. I'm here to represent those superior creatures.

Age: Undefined.

Hobbies: Narrating, speaking from the third person point of view. Correcting spelling/grammar mistakes.

Food: I'm a pseudo vegetarian. I also hate cheese and mashed potatoes. I just don't get them.

Motto: Never underestimate the power of human stupidity